Circuit Breaker Times

My country is on some sort of a lockdown, but we don’t use that word around here, so let me just explain to you what we can and cannot do. One, if you’re not a nurse, a doctor, the dude that drives a public bus, a taxi driver, a childcare teacher, you’re supposed to stay home. Second, you can’t visit family, can’t really go out with a friend, can’t have your meals outside (yes, the ground floors of buildings qualify as outside), but bubble tea is available. Well, most food places are open, you can order takeout (we call it “takeaway”), you can get the food delivery service, no problem but you cannot eat outside. Everyone must wear masks. If it were your unlucky day, and you forgot a mask, and the authorities caught you, you’d have to pay 300 Singapore Dollars. So basically that’s it.

The numbers keep rising, there have been 10 deaths in the country. A lot of backlash from the common Singaporean: ooh why did Singapore close its borders too late, you give me 600 dollars but put in place such a hefty fine bla bla bla. Stay the fuck home!

One thing I learnt from COVID is I am actually the same person I was years ago. In some ways. In most ways I am not.

For example. People still ask me how to do homework. Well, ten years ago they asked me how to do their cousins’/kid siblings’ homework. I am actually still good at doing homework, I realise. Now they ask me how to do their kids’ homework. Not much change there.

I also discover I am still a nice person. Like if you ask me what I think about your brochure or write up I will say ‘yeahh I like it’ or ‘nahhh you should change it’ depending on how it is. And then I don’t stop there. I volunteer to enhance your stuff. I think the reason I’m not rich is because when people offer payment I don’t want to take it unless you’re my day job.

Then. I miss my family and friends. Technology helps a lot here so even if we’re not together we can always video chat. In fact I video chatted with my brother who showed me his kids.

I don’t have sexual intercourse now. That’s the thing that has changed a bit for me. It takes a lot for me to want to have sex. One thing I am confused about is I don’t want a relationship or anything serious but I don’t want meaningless sex either. Or to feel like a booty call. I can talk to you about sex next time. I thought ‘No sweat! Bitch can do this lockdown-but-not-lockdown shit!’ So I put on some sexy video to get myself in the mood. Turned my wand on. It vibrated for three seconds and stopped. I switched it on again. Brr brr brr. Stopped. Went on all night. Turned it on. Brr brr. I even thought maybe if I kept doing it I’d finally get off at 3AM. I Googled the shop from where I got it. Wanted to email them. Thought I’d sound ridiculous going off about my dead wand when the whole world is trying to not die from coronavirus. Didn’t email in the end. Complained to friend (a girl) about how adult toy stores should open because sex, along with anything related to sex, is essential.

She started laughing and half-choking. Stopped to catch a breath and told me

“Go to the pharmacy. They sell sex toys!”

So I am going.

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